Thank you, Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde!

Time to celebrate small things, a blog hop originated by Vik Lit. I'm a little late in posting this. I know the contest has progressed to the top five already, yet it took a while for me to process these reviews. At first, I was ecstatic because the one was so good. It was also helpful, telling me I have to rework my pitch (which was going to be my query letter). If the reader was surprised about the story--albeit pleasantly so--the pitch did not do its job. I'm thankful to that reviewer. I have a sneaking suspicion he/she (probably she) fell within the target audience for a contemporary romance/mystery. Unfortunately, I then fell into the trap of wondering what would've happened if I lucked out and got two readers like reviewer number one. I would've been in like Flynn, I told myself. Of course, it's not at all conducive to think about "What ifs". That put me in a definite funk, which might explain the after-the-fact post. 

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

This was nothing of what I expected from the pitch and it is all the better for it. Allison's narrative is great. She's not sassy. She's a piss-ant and it is makes the excerpt crackle and pop as if a meltdown is about to happen. I loved it.

What aspect needs the most work?

This is one of those excerpts that if there is something to be improved upon, I'm not one to make the recommendation because I don't want to mess up what is in the excerpt. I like it too much as-is.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

How can I not like a story that starts with "In Detroit we eat cars."? What a great excerpt. It starts with Allison's nervy, sarcastic narrative that is smart and fast paced. The plot isn't new and the story even acknowledges that in foreshadowing of a murder but the execution is so good and different that it seems unique. I loved it from start to finish.

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

The tone is appropriately light and breezy

What aspect needs the most work?

Too many characters on too many tangents trying to be witty.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

It is okay. I became less and less amused and interested as it progressed. The characters became more juvenile and less entertaining. Based on the excerpt, I have little incentive to read on.

There's a lesson in the second review as well, and I needed it to pound into my head for, like, the gazillionth time (I know! Unbelievable!) how subjective the industry is. How two people can have the exact opposite responses to the same excerpt. It's a good reminder, so thank you, reviewer number two. 

Now back to reviewer number one: your positive reinforcement prompted my return to writing after the funk subsided. I hope you know that! It's like with God: For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in their midst. Except I'm not an all-powerful deity, but a mousy writer. And there's only one of you, not two or three. Anyway, you get the idea! Have a great Friday, everyone!